


You have my trust

by HighlyExplosiveContent



Category: Disney Cartoons (Classic), Mulan (1998)
Genre: Angst, Bi Shang, Canon-Compliant, F/M, Li Shang is flustered, M/M, Ping is cute, Shang is closeted gay, Shang is crushing so hard, Sort Of, he thinks, until he's not, you swoon you sigh why deny it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-02-11 02:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighlyExplosiveContent/pseuds/HighlyExplosiveContent
Summary: 'Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different?'In which Shang falls for Ping and tries to keep his wits about him.Or you know, the time when Shang thought he was gay but maybe he was bi instead?





	1. What's your name, Soldier?

Shang had the slightest inkling he may be in trouble the moment he met Ping.

Of course, he didn’t know this at first. Assessing the chaos the young man had left behind, Shang assumed he’d be this over compensating-macho-troublemaker.  
The cowering man on the ground would be the one he’d have to keep his eye on.

Chi Fu’s triumphant glare burned at the back of Shang's neck as he approached the mass of ’soldiers’ – that vulture would be delighted to tell his father of his first failure as a captain.  
It was beyond embarrassing to have a witness to this army of bumbling baboons. Every one of these ’grown men’ were quick to turn the blame on the man on the ground.

How promising.

Shang swallowed his embarrassment and went into captain mode. The man stumbled to his feet, fear in his eyes as Shang towered over him.  
’I don’t need anyone causing trouble in my camp’, he threatened, pleased to see the man flinching.

’Sorry’, the man whined in a surprisingly light voice. It made Shang’s heart skip a beat. Realizing this himself, the man's voice lowered before Shang had to witness the most insecure-in-his-masculinity charade he’d ever seen. Shang had to stop him before he dishonored his family even more.

’What’s your name?” Shang interrupted the boy’s awkward mumbling. After a good minute of back and forth, he finally knew of the name that would trouble him for the months to come. For one moment Shang assumed that he was being made fun of, considering the… queer name.

’Yup, my name is Ping!’ the boy announced and handed over his conscriptions. Chi Fu and Shang both had to do a double take reading the scroll.

’The Fa Zu?’ Shang wondered.

’I didn’t know Fa Zu had a son!’ Chi Fu spluttered, incredulous.

’Well, he doesn’t talk about me much’, Ping shrugged, then tried and failed to spit on the ground.

Shang nearly lost it, then and there, trying to keep his facial expression in check. Ping was nothing like the soldiers he’d met that were under his father. He couldn’t intimidate anyone with that soft voice. For all his bravado, he had to be the least manly guy Shang had ever met.

To regain his composure in front of the troop, Shang turned to the men covered in rice and begun giving orders. He deliberately turned his back on Ping, too flustered to look at him any more.

It would take weeks before Shang realized just how deep his crush was.

\---

The first days of training were a complete disaster.

Shang’s only saving grace was the successful attempt at intimidation when the short, angry man tried to get cocky during training. A good old humbling ‘assignment’ would do the trick to keep the soldiers in check.

The pole stood tall, the arrow he’d sent to the top staying in its place. At least Shang had made his point clear to the soldiers – He would have no more impudence in his army.  
Of course Ping tried – and failed- more times than anyone during the trial. Shang got a good view of the man’s…. Damn.

Shang was aware of his own tendencies – A life surrounded by fit soldiers made it impossible for him not to notice. Maybe it had been the lack of female presence – or maybe he was simply wired that way. But his inclination towards men had not gone unnoticed to him. Thankfully it wasn’t very stigmatized in the army, there were more men like him, after all. His mother would probably turn in her grave should she find out, though. He had no interest in starting a family with the neighbor’s daughter, and he wasn’t planning on changing his mind.

Of course, Shang had to know if Ping might be of the same… disposition.

He just couldn’t help himself. On the first day he casually dropped his robe to the ground, displaying his back muscles to the camp. Ping’s stare would keep Shang up at night for at least a week. Of course, he got a few stares every time he showed the moves to the men. Truly not all villagers could be this out of shape.

At least most of the soldiers managed to at least kind of keep up with the program – Ping, however, was the first one to collapse. He must have been sitting at home with all the women in his village knitting.

Still, Shang couldn’t help but notice just how much harder Ping worked than anyone else at camp. The other soldiers didn’t miss a beat to annoy him or disrupt his training, but he kept going. His father’s reputation was a lot to live up to. Shang could relate.

The men at the camp did make progress, getting stronger and working harder. Their complaints dissipated for every day, but they worked hard because that was expected of them.

Ping, however, fought like he had something to prove to the world. Despite the men picking him as a target most of the training, he saw every opportunity to learn and get stronger. Even when he stood at the edge of a cliff, a water bucket over his head, desperately trying to hit the assault of rocks flying at him. Even when he missed by every single swing.

The more Shang threatened Ping to work, the harder he fought. It didn’t matter to Shang that he barely passed the tests – Ping was getting better. His confidence, however, did not get better.

When the time was right, Shang decided to give Ping the final push. If he didn’t start believing in himself soon, Shang was worried that he’d be the first to fall under the Huns’ swords.

When everyone else had gone to sleep, Shang cornered him and gave him an ultimatum – Get tougher or go home. Ping looked discouraged and Shang slightly worried he’d pushed too hard. If Ping didn’t believe in himself, he might return home instead. Who would Shang look after then?

Hopefully he’d find the threat a spark to ignite his spirit. Shang hoped Ping would make an impression after this.

Of course, he didn’t expect Ping to take the challenge quite this seriously. As he exited his tent at sunrise, his own arrow found its way back to the ground right at his feet. Shang looked up to find Ping at the top of the pole.

For the month to come, Ping was no more at the bottom – he had found his pack of friends in the men who’d made his life a living hell. His tenaciousness had payed off and turned him into one of the troop’s best.

Shang was impressed indeed.

‘And by the way, I got that job on my own’, Shi Fu sneered and turned on his heel, out of Shang’s tent.

Asshole. Shang wondered how many times his father had thought about wringing the pathetic man’s neck. Probably not half as many times as Shang had these past few weeks.  
No matter how hard he tried to get the troops ready for battle, Chi Fu refused to let them leave camp. A part of him worried that the Emperor’s counsel had seen through his façade. Maybe he knew that Shang mostly made it up as he went – Watching someone passing orders was much easier than doing it.

Shang missed his father then. Wished he would tell him that he was doing a good job. Not likely that he would, should he be there with him. Maybe this had all been for naught. Tomorrow there might come a letter from General Shang, ordering every single soldier to go home. Ordering Ping to go home.

All Shang had dreamed of for the past few years was to serve the emperor in the same way his father did. He’d wanted so badly to have a troop to answer to him. Instead he felt like the only adult at a daycare.

‘Those boys are no more fit to be soldiers than you are to be captain’. How humiliating.  
Shang went outside in hopes to regain his composure but found Ping instead. He’d definitely been within earshot of the argument. Great.

‘Hey, I’ll hold him and you punch!’ Ping joked awkwardly.  
Shang walked past him, too embarrassed to say a word, too proud to laugh with him. The moments when Ping acted all macho were the moments when Shang got tired of constantly being surrounded by men.  
‘Or not….’ Ping’s voice softened and made Shang stop in his tracks. ‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re a great captain!’ Ping called after him.

Shang had to fight not to look back for too long. His insides felt warm and if he didn’t hurry he’d stand there, smiling like a fool at the young soldier who just tried to save face.  
Still, that sweet comment was enough to leave him with a grin on his face, the prior humiliation momentarily forgotten.

\--

Shang suspected he wasn’t going to be the same man after this journey. The morning upon leaving, the camp was unusually quiet. Normally, there’d be at least two or three soldiers who’d chatter endlessly during breakfast, Ping usually in the thick of it. His new friends had somehow accepted him into their tightly knit group after he’d shown his abilities of the test with the arrow. It baffled Shang. The way that male friendships worked in the army…

Of course, the men sounded much the same once they started marching. A few hours in they couldn’t march five minutes before someone started to complain about aching feet or hunger. Shang made sure to ride ahead just enough to not hear their incessant wailings. This distance increased when someone just had to start singing.  
Later, he would hear those ridiculous songs about beautiful women in his head, thinking about his late father.

\---

Shang saw the smoke before he smelled it.

Rising from the valley, fires not yet extinguished. This had been the path which his father had been on no more than a few days ago.

‘I don't understand. My father should've been here.’

He still didn’t understand, not even after one of his soldiers shakily gave him General Shang’s helmet. The whole troupe fell into an uncomfortable silence. Shang didn’t blame them. On a patch of untouched snow, he fell to his knees and thrust his sword – his father’s sword – through the ground and placed the helmet on its hilt.

No matter how he tried to get it through his head, he was unable to. The general. His own father, not alive. Dead. Cold. Frozen in the snow.

Shang leaned his head on his knee and prayed. Behind him, he heard the shuffling of boots through snow and the soft voice he’d become so familiar with.

“I’m sorry” Shang couldn’t even open his eyes. The doll in his hand had black eyes. Despite the graveyard that the huns had left behind, her hair looked untouched. Shang’s vision blurred.

What was he going to answer? Thanks? Go away?

Shang stood up, avoiding Ping’s gaze, and threw himself back up on the saddle. His heart felt like it was dragging him back to the helmet and his sword.

‘The Huns are moving quickly. We'll make better time to the Imperial City through the Tung Show pass. We're the only hope for the Emperor now. Move out!’


	2. You have my trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for all the positive comments! I seriously thought like one person would look at this and maybe leave a kudos - Which still is pretty dang awesome! - so I was really surprised to see there were more people than me looking for a queer read on Shang. I'm also sorry that it took a while to get this chapter up. I'm not good at the sit-down-and-actually-write-part.

Shang had barely an hour of mourning his father before all hell broke loose.

The troop was making its way through the Tung Shao pass. They had no place to rest until they could break through the pass, it was too much of a risk, given the Huns’ attack. Everyone was close to passing out, Shang included.

There was a sharp shot behind him, followed by explosions. Shang turned around and saw at the back of the troop, the wagon that Ping was in charge of. It was on fire.

The men close to him swore while the men at the back of the line started because of the loud noise. For a brief moment Shang searched the area around the wagon until he saw Ping’s form, still standing. Shang’s adrenaline shot through his body, even as he concluded that neither Ping, nor anyone else had been hurt.

Shang’s relief sparked into annoyance, bordering on anger. What was Ping thinking, lighting one of their cannons while in a mountain pass covered in masses of snow!? With renewed energy, he made a bee line for Ping and yelled at him. He was no more than halfway through his speech before a sudden jab of pain in his shoulder knocked him off his horse, as well as the air out of his lungs.

Lying flat in the snow, Shang saw thousands of arrows flying through the sky. For an instant he serenely revered in how beautiful the sight looked, with the snowy mountain behind the arrows. He later blamed the shock of his father’s death for the moment of insanity.

What pulled him out instantly was the realization of what those arrows meant – his fears had been answered. The Huns had tracked and now found them. They were outnumbered by a long shot. If they drew arms the Shan Yu’s army would slaughter them like cattle. That was if their archers didn’t hit their targets before that.

No time to waste. He drew a quick breath, knowing there was no painless way of doing this. He grabbed a hold of the arrow buried in his shoulder and pulled it out. Thankfully his armor had absorbed most of the damage, though the tip still had made it through the skin.

‘Get out of range!’ Shang yelled, getting up on his feet as quickly as he could. The men reacted rather quickly, for once. Shang stared at Ping, hoping he wouldn’t be distracted by his captain being hit. Unfortunately, Ping had another problem. He still had to calm down his horse, who panicked by the sudden attack.

The Huns started shooting fire arrows at the wagon, which forced the troop to unload all the cannons. Somehow, which Shang could not remember, the men got to a slightly sheltered spot, behind a few rocks where they could position the cannons towards the hill where the enemy was positioned.

They soon discovered, and it still chilled him to the bone to think about, that their problems were much bigger than he had anticipated. The Hun army was enormous.  
And so I die, Shang thought. Outnumbered by thousands, a pointless death, and on my first try as a captain.

I didn’t tell my father I loved him. I didn’t tell him to take care.

Instead, Shang said, ‘Prepare to fight. If we die, we die with honor.’ He could do that much for the men who’d followed him on this journey without question. If they could kill at least a few of them… Well, it wouldn’t do much still. But if they were to kill the enemy’s leader…

‘Yao, aim the cannon at Shan Yu.’ He’d established the hierarchy for months and didn’t expect anyone to defy him any time soon. That’s why he froze when he heard Ping shove Yao out of range of the cannon. That’s why he could only yell when he saw him running toward the avalanche of warriors, with only one cannon.

Shang wasn’t an idiot. He knew they had no chance of surviving this, but Ping was the last one to give up so easily. While Shang was terrified to have to watch the man he’d come to care about being the first… casualty, his heart grew at the sight of the brave man. Ping was never one to follow, like the rest of the troop. He followed his gut.

He couldn’t let him die alone, this quiet, insecure and still person. Shang had learned just how kind and trustworthy Ping could be. He barely noticed himself running after him until he was close enough to hear Shan Yu’s horse grunting.

Once Shang found out exactly what Ping had planned, he realized the guy was also a genius.

Of course, the avalanche caused by the explosion threatened to kill them just as much as the Huns. He stared at the sea of snow, unable to fully assess just how this was going to end. Ping darted past him and grabbed his hand. They ran together and Shang had a moment’s happiness of being able to feel his small but firm hand in his hand. The avalanche caught up with them, just as Ping was about to pull him up on his horse. ‘So, this is how I die,’ Shang mused before his vision turned dark.

\---

When Shang came to they were all somehow alive. He was almost certain it was thanks to Ping.

‘Step back, guys. Give him some air!’ He sat there, in the snow.

Not dead.

Ping turned up by his side, panting out of exhaustion. He had saved him. He had saved them all.

This wonderful man.

‘Ping,’ Shang called, facing him. It made his insides sing, being in his proximity. He should be furious after this display of disobedience, of putting others in danger. Of course, they had all been doomed from the start. ‘You are the craziest man I ever met. And for that, I owe you my life.’ He smiled and patted Ping’s back. ‘From now on, you have my trust.’

The men cheered him on and called him ‘the bravest’. Only Shang’s sense of propriety as a captain kept him from joining their chants. It died down quickly when he helped him up and they all saw the blood on his hand.

When had this happened? Shang hadn’t seen what had happened to him, but a wound in your abdomen was rarely good.

‘He’s wounded!’ Shang yelled and hoped he didn’t sound as scared as he felt. ‘Get help!’

As Ping fell unconscious he held his hand, doing his best to comfort him. The troop was better behaved than ever as they made up a tent for him. Thankfully, there were a few of the soldiers specialized in medicine.

The procedure didn’t take long, but they had to wait until dark before Ping came to.

Trying to quiet the butterflies in his stomach, Shang talked to the medic. Ping was just a sheet of fabric away. He just had to move the tent flap to the side, and he would see the sweet face of the man he…

He couldn’t think of the word. Not yet, not when they had come so close to dying. He would save it until after the greeting in the capital. When the troops would dissolve and everyone was to make it back home.

Shang would try to get Ping to stay a few days, until all the ceremonies were over. He’d probably need to recall all the details from their travels. Now that he thought about it, it wouldn’t be too hard to make Ping stay there with him – He was after all the reason to celebrate. There would be no China without him.

Well, after… everything, Shang would insist on escorting Ping back to his village. Once on equal footing, they would travel together, share meals by the fire…. Maybe even share a tent…. For sleeping. Of course. It would be warmer at night and made for a lighter pack.

Then they could start talking, man to man. No forced power imbalance between them. Shang would know more about Ping and Ping would eventually get to know him. The real him. Not captain Shang, son of General Shang.

Maybe when they’d settled down they could both move to the capital, where they’d work for the Emperor’s army. In the army no one raised eyebrows. No one asked whether they’d ever marry a good woman or have kids.

The daydream had pushed Shang through the waiting. As he stood inside the medicine tent, staring at the bandage over Ping’s chest, that daydream shattered. It was impossible to believe the doctor at first. He wasn’t a man? Did the man not have eyes?

Shang didn’t wake up from this nightmare. He had fallen for… A woman? How was that even possible? What was to happen with his plans for the future? No women were allowed in the army…

It hit him then, not only that Ping wasn’t who he’d thought he was, but that his deception would cost him his life. No matter all that he’d done for them.  
She’d done.

Chi Fu had overheard and rushed into the tent, dragging Ping out of bed, despite her wounds. She cried out in pain even as she kept her face as straight as she could. Even in this moment of humiliation and shame, even when that asshole called her a treacherous snake, she stood her ground. Shang wanted to see that, wanted to see that Ping was still there, but every word she said in that soft voice was like a sword piercing his chest.

‘My name is Mulan! I did it to save my father!’ she pleaded to him. He kept his back turned to her. ‘I didn’t mean for it to go this far – Please, believe me!’

Shang stopped listening when Chi Fu continued to roar insults. One thing was for certain: Whatever Chi Fu thought of as dishonorable, Shang would think the exact opposite. Of that he’d never been surer. If that idiot thought a woman hiding in the army deserved death, Shang would show her mercy.

Mulan wasn’t an exception to this rule. It still hurt him to his bone, thinking about raising his sword towards her. Defenseless and shivering in the snow. He had to say something, so as not to sound completely like he was defying the Emperor’s right hand. By the sounds of Ping’s…. Mulan’s friends, they weren’t on Chi Fu’s side.

Shang threw Mulan’s sword in front of her, signaling to everyone around them that he was not about to execute her. Her eyes widened in shock. It hurt. His main focus now was to keep his voice steady.

‘A life for a life. My dept is repaid.’ Not nearly, he thought sadly. ‘Move out!’

Chi Fu started protesting, but Shang had had enough of him. He gritted his teeth and snarled, ‘I said. Move out.’

The men followed him. He couldn’t turn his head. He couldn’t look at her. He wanted to be angrier, but all he could feel was emptiness. The spark that had set his soul aflame all this time had been nothing but a lie. A pretty illusion.

It was with heavy hearts that the battered troop continued forward, the bright lights of the capital feeling more like the end than anything.

 

End of Chapter 2


	3. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The soldiers reach the Empirial City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Thanks to every single one for your lovely comments!! It truly makes my day every time I get an update from AO3 *.*  
> Anyway, here's a short chapter to make it up to you for the fact I haven't posted in sooo long. I will try to get the next chapter up within a few weeks (fingers crossed)
> 
> ENJOY!

The following day seemed to pass in a haze. Shang could barely muster any strength to keep himself upright. The rest of his troupe was just as exhausted.  
They had previously trained for harsh weather conditions, gone five days on foot without any proper meals. Even then they had kept morale up. Now it seemed as if the troupe had turned into ghosts.

Fortunately Chi Fu had the sense to stay well out of Shang’s way. 

A few hours later they saw the warm glow rising from the Emperial City. The citygates were still guarded, but they seemed merely a token gesture to keep the citizen’s worries at bay. When the alarm reached the Emperor, he’d wasted no time to get as many soldiers out there to protect the people of China. However, manpower is not enough when faced with a hun army.

When the guards noticed the troupe they immediately called for medical help. Shang assumed his men weren’t looking their best after weeks on foot, and a surprise attack where they had been outnumbered and almost completely run over.

Time seemed to speed up, once they set foot inside the city walls. Having been carried by grief or adrenaline, or perhaps a bit of both, every single one of the soldiers almost fell into a heap on the Medical floor. It took nearly every single doctor there to attend to them. 

Words had spread fast, according to Shang’s doctor. Apparently, the last message from the general had reached the city, hastily written words confirming that the Hun army were of a greater number than they had anticipated and that the emperial troupe wouldn’t make it back. 

To be fair, the doctor didn’t actually know who Shang was, which explained the frankness with which he spoke to him. Still, his heart ached. It was beating faster and harder, until he had to crawl into fetal position and just concentrate on breathing in, breathing out.  
\----  
Shang came to when the smell of food hit his senses. Not just rice, but freshly steamed dumplings, duck… His stomach growled. There was a pitcher of spring water next to his bed, which he emptied in less than a minute.

The hydration helped clear his mind to see what they had accomplished. Not too long ago, these men had been a hopeless jumble of farmers and mercants, and he had been a cocky young man, thirsty for recognition. How little all of that mattered now – He would give his right arm for his father to come back. 

Shang noticed the soldiers were already up and moving around the tent, stretching and even laughing. After all, they’d managed to pull off the impossible, defeating an army about 20 times their size. 

The lack of Stuck-up-bullying-city-counsel was a blessing. That asshole had been at him constantly, telling him what a failure he was, how he’d never earn his place in the army. He’d hated that it had bothered him. Now it felt like a ridiculous thing, to be upset over what an idiot like Chi Fu thought of him.

There were a few people who did not laugh or talk with the rest. Huddled together on two beds were Ping’s friends. Mulan’s friends. Where some of the soldiers gossiped about why Fa Mulan would dress herself as a man, some of the theories so offensive Shang almost wanted to hit the back of their heads, Mulan’s friends just sat together, staring at nothing. Shang wondered if he saw a tear in Yao’s eyes. 

What had happened on the mountain could not be told to anyone, and they knew it. While the soldiers could gossip within the Hospital walls, as the doctors took an oath of silence, there would be hell to pay if word got out about Ping’s true identity. 

Her family name would be dishonored, the empirial army too. Even Shang would lose whatever credibility he’d worked for, since he couldn’t even tell a woman and a man apart.  
They couldn’t talk about it to anyone, but all Shang wanted was to confide in someone – anyone. He was desperate to lay all his feelings out there, to know that someone knew too.

What was she thinking!? To march into an army camp, not very subtly either, and claim to be a secret son of a war hero. She was either insane or incredibly brave, Shang thought.  
Just like Ping. Though Ping wouldn’t have thought to disgrace his friends and captain the way Mulan had done. Shang didn’t want to be angry at her for humiliating him. But maybe his ego was more fragile than he’d previously thought.

\---

Chi-Fu turned up when Shang had finally got his hands on fresh dumplings, steam still rolling off them. He gave that clown as fierce a glance he could manage, which kept him away.

”Soldiers!” Chi Fu’s shrill voice sounded through the Medical wing. ”I have had a meeting with the Emperor’s council, bringing them up to speed about everything”. He paused at the last word, clearly directing it at Shang. ”The council wishes to perform a ceremony for the entire Empirial City, in your honor, and for the men we have lost to this war.” He took out a scroll and started to read.

”The soldiers are to ride in formation, starting in the west end along the river…..”


	4. You said you'd trust Ping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulan arrives in the Empirial City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy more of Shang Angst, a bit of tension and a hint of ACTION.

China did not waste any time when it came to planning.

It seemed that their unexpected victory had wakened the people from silently waiting in their houses. As the afternoon progressed and turned into evening, there was music in the streets, children cheering and colorful kites gliding through the air. Apparently the empirial dancers from court even brought out the traditional Dragon Dance to celebrate. Behind them, there was an entire line of acrobats, dancers and musicians.

Shang’s horse had been resaddled, carrying him along the main road leading to the palace. The men carried their flags, looking more like the losing side than anything. The gossiping soldiers had finally shut up at the sight of the Emperor’s councel. Whether it was out of loyalty to Ping or Shang didn’t matter. Shang’s heart warmed at the thought of just how much these young men had grown.

All around them, there were people cheering and applauding. Everyone stepped aside for ’the heroes of China’ to come through. The cheerfulness did not reach Shang. After all, he hadn’t brought the army anything but needless pain. He’d prepared for death in the Tung Shao pass because he’d realised he’d been a bad captain. If it hadn’t been for Ping… For Mulan… None of them would be here, celebrating.

Every one on the streets, cheering and laughing – Stonecold dead.

All of his surrounding seemed surreal. It felt strange, wrong even, to celebrate when there was so much to mourn. The general. Those in the troupe that didn’t make it.

Ping.

Shang couldn’t shake this anger that festered inside him. What upset him the most was that Mulan had lied to him, pretended to be someone he could trust. Had it all been a ruse to get under his radar? Had she never cared for him, the way he’d cared for her?

 

The timing could not have been any worse.

As they came closer to the palace, a familiar voice called behind them.

”Shang!” her voice carried beyond the constant sounds around them. She caught up to Shang’s horse in seconds.

”Mulan?” Shang whispered, too taken aback to say anything else. What in the world was she doing here? Scenarios flashed before his eyes, of her explaining she was in fact Ping after all, she loved him, she wanted to apologize for lying to him….

”The huns are alive!” She said, and the spell was broken. ”They’re here in this city”

 _How could you expect me to believe this?_ Shang thought bitterly. _Even if you hadn’t betrayed my trust._

”You don’t belong here Mulan,” he spat out, staring straight ahead to avoid her gaze. ”Go home.” He rode ahead, his heart wanting to burst out from his chest. Mulan didn’t give up though. Suddenly she was beside him again.

”Shang, I saw them in the mountains. You have to believe me!” She looked so earnest, and it made his skin boil.

”Why should I?” he hissed, looking straight into her eyes. She frowned right back at him, clearly not approving of his new attitude towards her. Riding her horse up to block the way for him, she fixed him with her eyes.

”Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Ping,” she said. The name stung. ”Why is Mulan any different?”

_Because you’re not who I thought you were._

Whatever her reason for showing up here was, he’d had quite a trying few days and couldn’t bear to discuss this with her any further. The huns were buried in a mountain of snow. They were dead. They were all dead.

He urged his horse to the side, to walk past her. He didn’t look back, though he could tell she whispered something to her friends behind him. He ignored them.

 

\---

 

Once up the stairs to the palace, he got off his horse and walked up to the Emperor. He was surrounded by thousands of people, yet he’d never felt more lonely. Still, he needed to appear strong, unmoved. For his honour.

For his father’s.

The Emperor had gotten older, frailer, since the last time he’d stood before him. His eyes hadn’t changed though – they still caught you off guard, seemed to stare through your emotional walls. Standing before the Emperor felt like he knew all of your deepest secrets.

Chi Fu held the sword Shan Yu, ready to pass it over to Shang. They managed not to sneer at each other as Shang accepted the sword. The citizens cheered when the Emperor called his troupe the ’Heroes of China’. Shang bit his cheek to not retort. He hadn’t really done anything to save them. But there was nothing to do about it now.

Shang approached the Emperor, the sword lying flat in his hands. ”Your Majesty, I present to you the sword of Shan Yu.” He bowed and held the sword for the Emperor to accept.

The man was quiet for a second, before he spoke.

” I know what this means to you, Captain Li. Your father would have been very proud.” He said, empathy in his voice. Shang’s eyes burned, tears nearly escaping.

The revered moment was broken when a bird dashed between them, snatching the sword on the way. Shang looked up to one of the lookout towers to find the falcon dropping the stolen sword on a very familiar shadow. The shadow of a man that would hunt his dreams for years to come.

Shang realised what a terrible mistake he’d made, but it was too late to act. The men underneath the Dancing Dragon suddenly revealed themselves as the remaining Hun army, breaking through Shang’s defense in seconds and pulling the Emperor away to the Palace gates. Rising to his feet,

He rushed to the closing doors, hearing his men charging behind him. They were unable to reach them in time. A loud bang could be heard as the heavy doors were shut and blocked. Shang tried to open the doors, but he knew it was of no use.

 

Shit.


	5. The Soldier from the Mountain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AARGH I finally got around to it!! I'm so so sorry to all of you who've been waiting for this. As an apology I've made this chapter a bit longer than usual. I hope you'll enjoy the ending of this fic!

The gates were not going to open unless they found something heavier to break them. Shang commanded his soldiers to use one of the statues by the stairs to ram into the doors. It was to no avail, the doors had been made to withstand these sort of attacks.

Behind them, someone whistled. Careful not to drop the heavy stone on their toes, they turned their heads to see Mulan.

”Hey guys! I’ve got an idea!” She hurried towards the pillars supporting the palace. The soldiers looked at eachother, before dropping the statue and following Mulan around the corner.

Shang wondered why he didn’t feel humiliated, or angry, that Mulan had come back, despite his harsh words, and taken his soldiers away from him. Truth was, he’d looked at her and barely recognized the anxious person who’d arrived at the city. She’d looked the way he’d remembered her from the mountains.

Fearless. Assertive. 

Just like Ping.

In that moment he decided to put aside his hurt feelings and let the real leader make the next move. 

 

Shang would forever cherish the look of relief and surprise on their faces as he tapped Mulan’s shoulder. Of course he wasn’t going to abandon his troupe when they needed men… soldiers more than ever. Together they climbed the pillars, using Mulan’s famous technique. 

The road toward the balcony where they held the emperor was foggy in Shang’s mind, fuelled by adrenaline and a rush of something else. Something that awoke within him anytime Mulan was taking charge. The soldiers dressed up as concubines, distracting the Hun guards to taket hem out. Mulan made sure the guards were immobilized before calling Shang to save the emperor.

It was Shang’s time to show what he was worth. The time to provet hat he was more than the son of a captain. He was a soldier. A commander. Truth be told, all he wanted was to take Mulan’s hand, taking her with him to face Shan-Yu. Shan-Yu, whose soldiers had crushed his father’s army as if they were ants.

\--- 

It took little time before it was made clear that Shan-Yu was the better fighter out of the two of them. Shang’s vision blurred after a rather hard blow to his head. He staggered to the ground, barely able to lift his head. At least his efforts had moved their focus away from the emperor. He prayed the soldiers had managed to grab him by now. 

Shan-Yu lifted him up with one hand, cursing him for ruining his chances to storm the Capital City. Shang was ready to meet his ancestors when his favourite voice broke through.   
”No!” Shan-Yu turned his head to Mulan’s determined face. Shang could just make out her silhouette. He’d smile at her if he hadn’t been so out of it.

”No, I did it.” She said calmly, even as she stood alone, no armour, in front of the commander of the Huns, his sharp sword in his hand. Shang wanted to scream at her to get away. Even with her progress in sword battle, the Hun Leader was in another league. Shan-Yu stilled, his eyes fixed on her. 

”The soldier from the mountain…” He whispered, before roughly dropping Shang to the floor, making him hit his head once again. For a moment, his mind went completely blank. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t help.  
\---  
Rough hands shook his shoulders. Someone slapped his face. But it wasn’t until he got a pitcher of water dumped on his head that Shang came to. He looked up to find two of the soldiers, Yao and Ling, looking down at him. They were still in their concubine disguises, makeup flaking and their fake chest gone. He squinted, trying to make sense of the noise around him. It felt like waking up after a vivid dream, when you’re not sure what is real and what isn’t. 

Ling gave out a yelp and excitedly shoved Yao to the side. ”He’s awake! Oh, thank the ancestors!” He helped Shang up to a sitting position while Yao grunted something about making Ling’s ancestors cry. Realizing his transgression towards his captain, Ling cleared his throat and awkwardly saluted him. ”Captain, we’ve brought the Emperor to safety. He’s currently recovering by his council and guards—”

”Where is she?” Shang interrupted. Yao and Ling looked at eachother. 

”I think they ran towards the armory,” Ling explained. Yao cut in, ”Yeah, their leader was closing in on’er, she told us to get you,” he paused and looked at Shang’s expression. ”… But she looked determined! You know her, Captain. Always one step ahead of us. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Shang quickly rose to his feet, accidentally knocking over both of the men. He had to stand still for a few seconds, his mind still foggy. 

There was a loud crash on the other end of the palace grounds. All three looked from the balcony to see Mulan facing Shan-Yu on the roof. She was unarmed and he looked pissed off.

There was no way any of them would reach her in time and anyway, Shang was not fit to run or fight. But if he could get to the courtyard, where the people of the Capital still waited, frozen in terror, he might be able to find the Empirial guardsmen. He could borrow a bow and arrow, and if he concentrated through the haze he might be able to aim the arrow straight at Shan-Yu’s heart. 

Mulan might not make it, Shang thought as he bursted through the long corridor, making swift turns round every corner. In the back of his mind he noticed the Hun soldiers had been either taken care of or fled. She might have already fallen to her death. Shan-Yu could have pierced her heart or broken her neck. His heart raced, his breath came out in heavy gusts as he finally reached the main gates. On the other side, he could hear the screams of the spectators. People sounded scared and there were guards shouting orders while trying to get te civilians to stay calm. She could already be dead.

It must be the adrenaline that abled him to lift the heavy wooden lock on the gates. He carelessly dropped it to the ground and pulled at one of the doors until it was open enough for him to pass through. He ran as fast as his shaking legs would let him. 

He looked up to see fire works going off right out of the eastern tower. People were cheering and he’d barely had time to register what was happening until he was thrown off balance, yet again. He tumbled to the ground, only to look back up at Mulan. 

His heart still beat frantically, but this time it wasn’t the adrenaline talking. They looked at each other. She'd actually done it.

There was a whistling sound and suddenly they found the sword of Shan-Yu landing beside them. Around them, Shang could still see fireworks going off in every direction, people cheering and smoke coming out of every window of the palace. Mulan helped him up on his feet and for just a moment, they stood together, silently watching the fireworks. Her presence at his side felt so natural, so good, that he wanted to stay this way until the end of time.

Naturally Chi-Fu had to come down the stairs, shaking his fists and yell his misogynistic curses at Mulan. Not this time, Shang told himself. He straightened his back, doing his best to tower over this pathetic bully. He roared “She’s a hero!”, but this time Chi Fu barely flinched, aware of his sudden advantage in this situation. 

“She is a woman!” He gloated. “She’ll never be worth anything!” 

That was it. Shang grabbed Chi Fu by his lapel and spat at him, “Listen here, you pompous—”

“ENOUGH!”

Shang dropped Chi Fu and, on instinct, backed until he was right in front of Mulan as the Emperor himself walked down the staircase, his face a look of barely contained rage. Did he know everything that Mulan had done for them? Was he going to have her executed? The thought churned in Shang’s stomach. He had to say something, anything. The Emperor now stood in front of them, the soldiers standing as a protective barrier around her. Shang stepped forward.

“Your majesty, I can explain – “ He started, but was cut off by the Emperor’s raised hand. They all had no choice but to silently move out of the way. Mulan was alone, looking small and scared. With a pang in his chest, Shang remembered the first time he’d met her, back when she had been Ping. Just another soldier, eager to prove himself. Shang had been smitten by his… her goofiness, but he’d had no idea of just how much he would come to care for her. This time she stayed quiet, not fumbling for words or being defensive.  
The Emperor’s voice cut through the remaining murmur of the crowds.

“I've heard a great deal about you, Fa Mulan.” He mused. “You stole your father's armor, ran away from home, impersonated a soldier…” His voice boomed and Mulan seemed to want the Earth to swallow her whole, the way she shrunk as he continued, “…Deceived your commanding officer, dishonoured the Chinese Army, destroyed my palace…!” He paused and Shang was about to step forward yet again, Empirial laws be damned, when he continued, voice softened.

“And… You have saved us all.” With that, the Emperor slowly bowed for Fa Mulan. 

There were gasps among the council, the loudest coming from Chi Fu, who collapsed on his knees, his forehead pressed to the ground. Shang’s heart melted at the sight of Mulan, her eyes not quite registering what was happening. He slowly bowed down to her, trying to show her just how proud he was of his soldier, his friend. All around them, from the soldiers to the guards, to the crowd, people were bending down, bowing to her. It was an indescribable feeling in the air, reverent yet electric. Mulan’s eyes were glassy.

The Emperor straightened and called, “Chi Fu.”

“Yes, your Excellency?” Chi Fu answered, still in shock.

“See that this woman is made a member of my council” he smiled. Chi Fu stared, before smirking.

“There are no council positions open, your Majesty!”. In response, the Emperor smiled and with a sigh said,

“Very well. You can have his job.”

At that, Chi Fu seemed to have had enough, as he promptly collapsed. No one seemed to mind at all. Instead, The Emperor looked at Mulan, patiently waiting for her response. A place in his council. That was as good as it could ever get, especially for a woman. There was is higher honour, Shang thought.

As per usual, Mulan surprised them all. 

”With all due respect, your Excellency, I think I've been away from home long enough.” She bowed.

”Then take this,” he handed her his own medallion, the very symbol of his power, ”so your family will know what you have done for me. And this,” The sword of Shan Yu was placed in her hands as well, ”so the world will know what you have done for China.” Every one around them was frozen in awe, until Mulan looked up at the Emperor and throwing her arms around him, prompting a warm smile on his lips.

Shang was not jealous of the Emperor. No sir, not at all.

 

Mulan let go of the Emperor and turned to her friends. As they embraced, Shang wondered what he should say to her. Somehow, nothing felt adequate after what she’d been through.

She was turning to him now. Shang panicked. 

”You—” He stuttered. His mind went completely blank as she smiled at him. ”You fight good,” he finished lamely and awkwardly patted her shoulder.   
What on Earth was he doing!?

”Oh, um… Thank you,” Mulan murmured, lowered her head and walked past him. Before he could regain his composure, she mounted her horse and rode down the stairs and out of the Palace grounds. Nice work, Shang, he thought. 

Shang heard someone clearing his throat. The Emperor stood beside him.

”The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.” he spoke. 

”… sir?” Shang asked. He got a massive sigh in response. The Emperor jerked his thumb towards where Mulan had exited and gave him a meaningful look.

”You don’t meet a girl like that in any dynasty,” he said, looking like he was talking to a complete idiot, before putting on his hat and walking towards the palace.

Shang stood still. He could feel the eyes of the soldiers on him. It seemed they’d figured it out by now. Of course Shang wouldn’t be smitten by someone he’d known for five minutes. He’d fallen for her long before they'd known she was not a man. 

It didn’t seem to bother any of them though. Maybe after spending so much time together, escaping death and sleeping in the same tents, the values of their parents didn’t seem to matter as much. Women had always been looked upon as weak, yet the very first woman to join the army saved China. 

He guessed that falling in love with both men and women wasn’t so strange after all.

Before any of them could tell him to follow her, he called his horse and stretched out his hand for them to shake. Chien Po smiled and they forced Shang into a warm hug. Right, so apparantly the hierarchy separating them had been broken as well.

”Is there anything you wish me to tell her?”

”Just go get her, tiger!” Ling called and the other two whistled and hooted. Deeply embarrassed but determined, Shang rodeo ut of the Capital and on to the country road, on his way to confess his love. 

\--- 

The ride was considerably longer than he’d initially thought. With no food or water packed, he had to stop at a small village by the road. Later, he’d gotten himself lost as he’d never actually entered these parts before.

The good part about this was that he barely had any time to ponder just what he was going to tell Mulan when he saw her. There was a good chance she’d kick him out at first sight. Oh no, what if she didn’t even care that he was there? What if…

His train of thought was cut short as he noticed the outlining of village walls. It took no time to reach the gates and he barely had to state his name before the gatekeeper opened for him. He asked for Fa Mulan and the guard’s eyes widened. So she’d come back. The people living in the village bowed when he passed by. Children playing outside of shops stopped and stared at him. It felt strange.

The village was a maze, Shang thought. There were paths and roads reaching in all directions and wagons drove past him everywhere. Furthest from the village center, there was a walled garden, made for the Fa family’s shrine. The only problem was, there were not just one single garden. Most families had one, or at least a small shrine in their backyard. Shang almost worried he’d misheard the instructions until he saw two older ladies talking by the archway. 

” Huh,” he heard the oldest woman scoff. ”She brings home a sword. If you ask me she should've brought home a—” Shang cut in and both the ladies stopped mid conversation.

”Excuse me, does Fa Mulan live here?” He noticed now the similarities the women had with Mulan. They must be her relatives, he thought. They gaped at him and pointed, past the archway into the garden where, by a cherry blossom tree, Mulan embraced a man who could only be her father.

Ignoring the old woman shouting after him – ”Sign me up for the next war!” – Shang tentatively approached Mulan and her father. He was impressive even from a distance, proud and powerful, dispite his age. He had the same unwavering look as his daughter.

Her father noticed him now, nodding to him to come forward. Shang had prepared for an excuse to see her, in case didn’t go as he’d planned, but as he stood in their garden, Mulan smiling warmly at him, he felt absolutely ridiculous. He wished he had the dignity to elegantly ask her out. They were right in front of him now. Shang turned to the father.

”Honorable Fa Zhou, I—” Mulan stepped forward, and he turned to her instead. ”Mulan!” He said, way too loud. ”Umm ... you forgot your helmet. Well, actually it's your helmet, isn't it, I mean ...” 

He heard himself rambling and prayed to his ancestors that they would shut him up. Instead, Mulan accepted the helmet, standing as close as she’d ever had, and said the most beautiful words Shang had ever heard:

”Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Granny ruined the moment by exclaiming he should stay forever, but Mulan still smiled and Shang’s heart felt like it would burst with happiness. This person, this amazing, clever, brave, rulebreaking person. How could he ever be worthy of her love and trust? Well, he had time to try. Smiling back at Mulan, he said,

”Dinner sounds good” 

 

THE END


End file.
